I had a realization the other day, and I wanted to share. This will be a little different blog post...no humor from The Office. This is the time in my life where I discovered how truly precious time is. 

When I was in high school and college, I constantly repeated one phrase..."I can't afford to ______." 

I would say: 

• "I can't afford to go out to lunch today, I have homework due tomorrow."
• "I can't afford to go to the mall, I have test on Monday and need to study."
• "I can't afford to see you today, because I need to pass my CPA exam test next week and need to study." 

Do you notice a pattern here? When I would say "I can't afford to ________" it's about time, not money. Ok, I studied A LOT too, but this was because I had goals: to graduate university with honors, pass my CPA exams, and have a big finance career. My teens and twenties were filled with a lot of sacrifices and hard work, but they led successes. 

But what I didn't realize until recently is that my currency has always been time, not money. Unfortunately, I didn't have tools like high performance coaching and personal development.

I didn't have the clarity to know my true identity, so I was living a life that others expected or wanted for me.

I didn't have the awareness of how I was living (or not living) my life.

I didn't have my priorities in order, because I was prioritizing a job over my health, family, friends, hobbies, and joy. 

I didn't realize that my body was sending me painful clues (like migraines) to tell me to stop and slow down. 

One night, I landed in the ER from a migraine. I've had migraines for 30+ years so I had a really high pain tolerance. So for one to be bad enough to go to the ER, it was like my head was about to explode.

At the ER they pumped me full of pain pills, which only took the edge off, and then they released me around 3:00am. But, because I've always been such a hard worker, loyal to my job, and my job needed ME...I went to work the next morning for an important meeting that I needed to attend. I felt like I had been run over by a bus, I looked as white as a ghost, and was not helpful at all in the meeting.

Going to the ER was not my breaking point or my rock bottom. It was the argument my husband that I had right before I left for work that morning. He was arguing with me to go back to bed and not go to work. But I was "strong and I lived with migraines so I knew what I could handle...and work needed me" I said as I grabbed my keys. "They won't be able to have the meeting with out me, and then everything will get delayed. I don't want to let everyone down." I was wobbling out the door and he said that he knew he couldn't stop me, but we were going to talk about this later. 

I had never had anyone care so much about me. We were newlyweds and he knew about my headaches since day one, but going to the ER really scared him. This was the first time it clicked that it wasn't just my life anymore, it was our life...and my actions effected him. He was worried about me because he cared about me. 

Alone in my dark office, that finally clicked. And since I couldn't focus on work because my head was hurting too much, questions filled my mind.

• "What was I doing all this for?"
• "Why am I sacrificing my health for this job?"
• "Why am I hurting my new marriage for a job?"
• "Who am I more loyal to, my job or my husband/family/friends/myself?"

Then the even scarier questions came...

• "What have I been doing with life up until now?"
• "Have I been doing this my whole career?"
• "Who else worries about me?"
• "Am I hurting others?"
• "What have I missed out on because I put my career above everything else? I'VE LOST SO MUCH TIME!"

That was my ah-ha....I felt like I had lost so much time, wasting my life in a career that I didn't love and was actually the root cause of the majority of my pain. 

I couldn't afford to be in this job anymore. I wanted a life. I wanted to live! I had to find a way to make it happen. 

So I went on a journey to find a way that a high achiever like me, could live a life without burning out and without sacrificing life's precious moments. What I didn't realize is that I'd get way more than that. I found joy, harmony, clarity, a cure for my migraines, and a way to live a life where time has actually slowed down and means so much. 

Now, I have a life where I can afford to spend time with my husband and loved ones, go on vacations, have a social life, realize how important people are to my mental health, find a career that brings me and others joy, and doesn't sacrifice my health. 

I can afford to do everything, because I have awareness, clarity, and the power to slow down time. No longer am I just trying to survive the day, or watch the clock tick by until I can get in my car to go home and stare at the TV.

I can slow down time by being present in the moment, stop and watch a sunrise or a sunset, play with my cats, spend a date night with my husband, laugh with my family and friends, enjoy wine tastings, and so many other pleasures in life that I didn't know existed...all because I wasn't aligned with the true authentic me. With every slow deep breath I take, I inhale life and slow down time. 

And that is why I became a High Performance Coach! 

Ok one little bit of humor from The Office :)

 Hope that left you satisfied and smiling [that's what she said],

~Sara