Tips for Dealing with Anger
Mar 13, 2023Anger is a natural emotion that can be caused by so many different situations: maybe you felt disrespected, unheard, something unfortunate or unfair happened to you, etc.
Emotions tend to be triggered by something. They are automatic, impulsive, and just happen. What is key is how you handle these emotions, learn how to deal with, accept, and see through these emotions.
So when you do feel a powerful emotion like anger, what can you do?
- Take a pause between the stimulus (whatever triggered your anger emotion) and your response. Go for a walk, take a break, excuse yourself, breath, or anything that will help you not react in a way that you may regret. Taking several deep breaths and excusing yourself for a break will help you center yourself, gather your thoughts, and thoughtfully take the next action out of a better emotional state. This is a more productive way than just allowing the emotion to take over, that you "deserve" to feel this anger because of what happened to you, getting you feeling self-righteous, and then feeling like you need to amplify the emotion more.
- Get clear on what you're feeling and what your goal/outcome is. Getting clarity on why you're feeling angry can help you understand what caused the emotion. Maybe the actual cause was fear, worry, or a hit to your ego.
- Don't make it worse. Don't cause any harm. Don't say something or do something that will damage a relationship.
- Ask for what you want. How do you want to resolve this situation in a positive way? How do you want to feel about it now? Don't just throw a tantrum, learn how to be an adult who can articulate what you want. It's a skill, and diving into personal development/growth can help.
- Ask yourself what your best self would do? Do that thing.
What other ways can you deal with anger? It's a choice to choose how you deal with that emotion. The emotion is not your identity and it is not who you are.
Hope that left you satisfied or smiling [that's what she said],
~Sara